Let the children come to me!
Tate Franz of Sinking Spring, PA writes:
In her latest article in Sr. Manners Goes to Mass, Sr. Manners said that the place for toddlers during Mass is in the nursery---my church doesn't have a nursery. This means that toddlers have to come to church and (gasp!!!) the congregation actually have to take Christ's attitude towards those noisy little buggers ("Let the children come to me..." right??). When I hear or see those dear little ones in Mass---whether they are making a fuss or not, I am so glad that their parents care enough about them to bring them to Mass. If the Catholic church wants more Catholics, then we need to have a welcoming attitude towards children--because they are (noisy or not) the future of our church.
I am the mother of a special needs child. His name is Tad and he is 12 years old. He is autistic and while he has gotten much better, he used to be very noisy in Mass. So noisy, in fact, that when I moved 4 years ago, in the first church I attended, I was asked to leave because of how disruptive he was. I attend a church now where Tad is welcome--thanks be to God. Tad cannot help that he calls out and he cannot help that he can't sit still. To many, especially when he was younger, he looked like an unruly, undisciplined child. In some churches I went to, I received scowls and sighs as eyes rolled heavenward--the silent (but never subtle) message to me that my son was not welcome in God's house because he was "disturbing". I am so very glad I now attend a church where the parishioners understand that God is not surprised my son is autistic and God is quite glad Tad comes to Mass.
Pope John Paul stated many times that Mass is not individual prayer time. It is community time---it is time for family. Families are noisy. Families have children. We are the Family of God, and we are not asked, but commanded to love one another--and if that means smiling at the poor mother of five children who got up three hours before Mass to make sure all were washed, and dressed and fed so that they could come to Mass as a family, then that is what we are commanded to do.
That being said...I agree if a child is being exceptionally disruptive, then perhaps mom or dad should take the child to the lobby or to the crying room until they are calm---but keep them from church just because we have no nursery? No way!! I know my son was disruptive---but the only way I could teach him to be calm in Mass was to take him to Mass. I am glad God led me to a place where the people understand that. I know I am very blessed to have found such a place, but it saddens me to know that my church is probably more the exception than the rule, and I have to say, that advice like yours, may not help things much. I very much doubt that if a mom asked Jesus if her noisy toddler could come to church, that He would turn her away.
In her latest article in Sr. Manners Goes to Mass, Sr. Manners said that the place for toddlers during Mass is in the nursery---my church doesn't have a nursery. This means that toddlers have to come to church and (gasp!!!) the congregation actually have to take Christ's attitude towards those noisy little buggers ("Let the children come to me..." right??). When I hear or see those dear little ones in Mass---whether they are making a fuss or not, I am so glad that their parents care enough about them to bring them to Mass. If the Catholic church wants more Catholics, then we need to have a welcoming attitude towards children--because they are (noisy or not) the future of our church.
I am the mother of a special needs child. His name is Tad and he is 12 years old. He is autistic and while he has gotten much better, he used to be very noisy in Mass. So noisy, in fact, that when I moved 4 years ago, in the first church I attended, I was asked to leave because of how disruptive he was. I attend a church now where Tad is welcome--thanks be to God. Tad cannot help that he calls out and he cannot help that he can't sit still. To many, especially when he was younger, he looked like an unruly, undisciplined child. In some churches I went to, I received scowls and sighs as eyes rolled heavenward--the silent (but never subtle) message to me that my son was not welcome in God's house because he was "disturbing". I am so very glad I now attend a church where the parishioners understand that God is not surprised my son is autistic and God is quite glad Tad comes to Mass.
Pope John Paul stated many times that Mass is not individual prayer time. It is community time---it is time for family. Families are noisy. Families have children. We are the Family of God, and we are not asked, but commanded to love one another--and if that means smiling at the poor mother of five children who got up three hours before Mass to make sure all were washed, and dressed and fed so that they could come to Mass as a family, then that is what we are commanded to do.
That being said...I agree if a child is being exceptionally disruptive, then perhaps mom or dad should take the child to the lobby or to the crying room until they are calm---but keep them from church just because we have no nursery? No way!! I know my son was disruptive---but the only way I could teach him to be calm in Mass was to take him to Mass. I am glad God led me to a place where the people understand that. I know I am very blessed to have found such a place, but it saddens me to know that my church is probably more the exception than the rule, and I have to say, that advice like yours, may not help things much. I very much doubt that if a mom asked Jesus if her noisy toddler could come to church, that He would turn her away.
posted by Aneel Aranha ::
2 Comments:
Discipline and Reward
When a young mother and father have their first child they are probably aware of the need for a policy of discipline, but what are the cherished values that determine their discipline?
If parents are bible-believing Christians there is no problem, because their values are based on biblical teaching. The most fundamental ‘rules’ are the Ten Commandments, which were modified, but not negated, by Christ. He said, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’” (Matthew 24:37,38) There is also, ‘He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him properly.’ (Proverbs 13:24) ‘Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him.’ (Proverbs 22:15)
Some other Proverbs also exhort the use of corporal punishment: 23:13, and 29:15.
Wise parents not only punish for wrong-doing, but they reward for their child’s obedience. This principle of rewards is to be found throughout the Bible, e.g., 1 Samuel 24:19, Psalm 19:11, Proverbs 13:13, but the greatest reward is yet to come for those who ‘trust and obey’, ‘“For the Son of Man will come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He will reward each according to his works.”’ (Matthew 16:27)
The job of discipline is not easy. It can be painful for the child and for the parent, but it is of necessity and out of love.
Perhaps the example set by parents of their own conduct, one of obedience to the Lord, is the most formative for the child. As he grows in understanding and maturity, so shall he appreciate the love shown to him through discipline by his parents.
Kudos to all parents who bring their children to church. I am starting over again... as grandmother, and it's not an easy job!
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